jaune_chat | (Reply)

From:

game-byrd.livejournal.com

I've seen two kinds of people who disrupt games like that. One kind says, "This isn't the kind of game I want to play. I was mistaken about things. I'm leaving." and then they leave. They might do so emotionally, evincing a feeling of being betrayed by their friends playing in a manner different from their personal morals, but they don't try to blackmail or bully the group. They're the same fish as the ones who leave quietly between games with a polite note to the DM, except they get emotional and loud about it and it happens during the game. Otherwise, same motivation.

The other kind of person who disrupts games like this is doing so for the express purpose of manipulating the game and players to their advantage. Lundy Bancroft gave a good example in his book on partner abuse and I think it clarifies the situation to see it in another context (I'm paraphrasing here):

A family has agreed to take turns washing the dishes. Tonight is Dad's night, but Dad doesn't want to wash the dishes. He feels put upon and entitled to have other people wash the dishes for him. He'd rather watch his TV shows tonight and sees no reason why he shouldn't do just that. He ruminates about this during dinner. At the end, the daughter cheerfully announces that it's his turn. He flies into a rage, throws his dirty dish on the floor shattering it, and shouts at her about how happy she must be to see her father cleaning up after her like she's a little queen. He rages abusively for a bit, then stomps out to the living room, angrily flips on the TV, and watches his shows. The family, intimidated and reeling from his outburst, quietly clean up the broken dish and reassign washing duties so he's never called on again for that. They might even blame the daughter for being disrespectful of her father.

It's abuse. It's pure and simple bullying in a domestic context. What you've described in your game is the same thing. Brian wants to get his way in the game. Going to initiative would NOT be to Brian's advantage, because it would give each character a chance to act fairly on their turn. So he heads that off, forcing the confrontation to occur in a forum where he can benefit from raising his voice and standing up, maybe grabbing his dice and books with a lot of energy (all forms of intimidating posturing). Then he stomps out of the game, taking his wife with him, because he will make it very clear to her that she must choose between backing his play or "siding" with his enemies.

I am sure that he will attempt to slur Evelyn for the entire incident and any misbehavior on her part (like raising her voice to defend herself, etc.) will be things he tries to get the group to censure her for. He will try to cast himself as the victim of her long-standing issues even though, as you've noted, he laughed along with it before when it suited his purposes. He'll also offer to rejoin the group if and only if she is penalized or he gains some advantage. At the very least, he'll want full experience for the session he blew up.

It may be that I see this abusive pattern of behavior where it isn't, because I've lived it for most of my marriage. What you've described fits to a T what I've seen, though. The best thing you can do for yourself is immediately advertise for new players. New people takes the attention off Brian and it puts him on notice that he can be replaced if he misbehaves. It also strips him of his greatest threat, which is not playing anymore. Plus, if he carries through with that threat, wave him good-bye and continue the game with the new faces. I would suggest taking Brian's wife aside and telling her that you know what he's doing in forcing her to side with him, you're sorry he's putting her in that position, and if she ever wants to play without him, you'd welcome her. That's really all you can do for her.